I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize