Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
