2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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