Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
you never un-have a 4some
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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