ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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