I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize