Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize