Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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