I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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