Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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