alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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