STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
