8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
