bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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