I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she smelled like a LAN party
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
