$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize