i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
