Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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