She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
