people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
