Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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