I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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