You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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