Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize