To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
