Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
