entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
