Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Acid is not a monday night drug
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
