God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
