That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
