a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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