so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
