And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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