and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
