Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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