apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
