Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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