I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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