if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
