Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
