i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
