Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
