Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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