You work out of a Hotel?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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