it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
