His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
