remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I skipped work to stalk him.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
