i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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