But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the condom got lost in my hair
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
