We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
