so explain again why im purple
no
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
