i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
