We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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