I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I got inside last night via doggy door
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
