So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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