I'm gonna have a badass scar
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
