but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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