I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize