That's intense
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
