You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
